chaotic mortal

Look At Me, Camera! PLEASE?

February 24th, 2007. Published under True Life. No Comments.

Look at me, camera. Please? Just look at me? JUST LOOK AT ME, CAMERA!

Does this sound familiar? Well, it should… if you’ve got a motion-detecting light switch. My family just got one, but we want to do some research before we install it. You see, following is a hilarious true story of motion detectors. It just seems the motion detectors don’t get the “motion picture”! Check it out! (more…)

Sleeping is Over; It’s the Sleepover

February 20th, 2007. Published under True Life. 1 Comment.

Sleeping is out, over, stopped, paused, halted, and seized at my sleepover. It wasn’t meant to happen like that, but it did. Everyone who was at the sleepover barely slept.

Here is my story.

(more…)

Little Mighty Printer

February 15th, 2007. Published under True Life. 4 Comments.

I have a little mighty printer. It’s small. It only costs forty dollars. But it is mighty. Very mighty. If it were a car, I suppose you’d have to call it a Ford Super-Super-Super-Super-Super-Super-(etc.) Duty. It’s that strong.

It’s not fast. It’s not vivid. Nobody knew that a harmless little printer which was only intended for printing a few pages of articles a week ended up printing over five-thousand pages. 5000 pages. That is a lot.

And a even more lot for a printer like this. A printer that only cost forty dollars. (more…)

Scientifically Science (part 3)

February 14th, 2007. Published under True Life. No Comments.

She looked at her watch. I thought she was gasping at the time. She said really fast, “You don’t have a hypothesis. You’ve got to have a hypothesis. You want to have a hypothesis. The judges won’t look if you don’t have a hypothesis. You need a hyothesis– I mean hypothesis. Hypothesis, hypothesis. You just simply need one.”

Then she put her hands on her knees and looked at me really close.

She said, “Now what you’re going to do is you are going to take your project home, even though its due today. The judges are coming tomorrow.”

She looked at me intently. I nodded to tell her I understood.

She continued, “I, as the science project project teacher— or the math project teacher— give you special permission to go and take this home. A few other students are also doing this.”

She looked at me again. I nodded.

“Now, you will take the board home and you’re going to stick on your hypothesis. Then you are going to bring it back to this very room that you’re standing in.” (She meant the room behind the stage.)

(more…)

Scientifically Science (part 2)

February 11th, 2007. Published under True Life. No Comments.

(to part 1)

The next day, we drove into the drop-off area. I took my board and unloaded off from the van.

The drop-off area that we happened to unload at (I call it the “East Gate”) opened straight into the cafeteria. From the cafeteria, two inner doors opened into the rest of the building.

I took my board in. It was pretty typical. Some students were eating breakfast (you could pay to eat here or you could eat at home) and some were on their way to class.

And a small number of these people who were in the cafeteria were like me: they were unloading their stuff.

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Scientifically Science (part 1)

February 5th, 2007. Published under True Life. No Comments.

I did a science project that was scientifically science that was scientific.

Whew! But as I always say: Yep, it’s true!

Yesterday was the day I quickly made my final adjustments for my science project that I turned into the teacher before the judges came.

It’s not wrong to do that. Everyone did it. So I went along and did it too.

Actually, I went along because I had to do that.

And the reason? I left out my hypothesis.

Allow me to begin. (more…)