chaotic mortal

Watch the Watch Argument

January 30th, 2007. Published under True Life. No Comments.

Go on. Nobody is stopping you, so go ahead and watch the watch argument. There’s nobody stopping you. Except for me. You would be invading my privacy. So actually, don’t go on. Someone’s stopping you, so don’t go ahead and watch my very interesting argument.

But you can read my argument. Well, actually it isn’t an argument. It’s actually just a joke… a true joke. I’m writing it in a different style…

It all started on an innocent sunny day. This was the first day my friend had his watch. (more…)

Absolutely No Buzz

January 28th, 2007. Published under True Life. No Comments.

A few days ago, I attended the spelling bee. Remember that post I wrote two months ago about my being a contestant? Of course you didn’t.

But now I must painfully tell you that I did not win.

I lost on a hard word, specifically not telling you which word it was.

I will, though, tell you how I lost. (more…)

Testing The Test

January 25th, 2007. Published under True Life. 1 Comment.

A few days ago, I tested the test. Yes, I did. I know it sounds strange, but true. It all happened on an innocent end-of-the-day, when I was preparing to do my go-out-of-the-side-door procedure. I grabbed my backpack and sat down and waited for a announcement that the teacher was signaling for us to listen too.

She said, “Tomorrow, we will do the field test for the TAKS test that the state is developing. We will do nothing— I repeat, nothing— else but this field test tomorrow. You will not— you will not— be graded on it, but do your best on this.”

She was repeating a lot of things, but the message was clear: one of those whole-day tests. (more…)

Backdoor Me

January 20th, 2007. Published under True Life. No Comments.

Yesterday, I went out the backdoor of my school. Pretty sneaky, eh? Yes, very sneaky, going out that door feels like.

Yeah, feels like. I’m not kidding. It isn’t, really. It’s actually perfectly allowed. Now all the pizzazz is gone because I told you that.

A few days ago, I didn’t even know that you could do that. It all started a few months ago.

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Unfortunate Mornings

January 17th, 2007. Published under True Life. No Comments.

This morning, my dad waited for the lady he carpooled with. Every morning, he had to do this because he had to go to work.

Well, today was no different. He was waiting when he noticed that the main route to his work had been closed. Worse, the HOV lane, which was a one-lane route from the end of the highway to downtown, was shut down! (more…)

Freezing Water

January 16th, 2007. Published under Fiction, True Life. No Comments.

The wind howled. On the television, I saw the meteorologist speak. “Down… in… Houston… we… have… thirty… two… degreeeeeeess..” The meteorologist’s voice droned on and on. Outside, it was freezing.

Today was in the thirties. Fahrenheit. Uh, yeah. 30s. And I did not want to go swimming outside in this freezing water.  My mom didn’t really want to take me there either.  So we decided not to go.

However, when we were sitting inside are warm cozy house, we decided to make up a very, very crazy story. Here’s how it goes. (Oh, and please note it’s FICTION)

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Carefree

January 14th, 2007. Published under True Life. No Comments.

I know a very care-free lady. I also know what I like to call this care-free lady. Her name is spelled A-U-N-T-Y. Aunty. Yep, that’s my aunt, all right. She is very carefree. So carefree.

The previous time she was evident of being carefree was when she was going to her boss’s daughter’s wedding. She had promised her boss she would be there to give his daughter a lovely bunch of flowers.

But she thought it was in the University Of Houston! She hurried and drove and hurried over to the University of Houston just in time. She opened the door and there was no one there.

No, let me rephrase that: She tried to open the door, but she couldn’t because it was locked.

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The Tiny Story of MicroFord

January 13th, 2007. Published under Fiction. No Comments.

A very long time ago, me and my friend were walking towards the door outside. I just so happened to be thinking of Microsoft at the time. When we walked out, there was a big car parked there, and on it were the huge words “FORD”.

I had never seen the word “FORD” written so big on a car. It lined the whole two sides of the car and even the top of the car had the words “FORD”. I was so astonished, I said the word “MicroFord”.

It was pretty obvious that MicroFord wasn’t a word, but I had just been talking about Microsoft and those huge letters just had to make me mixed up.

My friend and I laughed so hard at this new amusing word: MicroFord. Who could think of something more interesting? I laughed. Then my friend thought of a idea. I stomped, and my friend cried, “My MicroFord! You’ve smashed it to pieces!”

We came up with crazy ideas like this every week or so. This is one of the stories, entitled “Customer Service”.

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Pepperoni Incident

January 11th, 2007. Published under True Life. No Comments.

Something terribly small happened yesterday. Something small enough that it would be good to tell you about.

The small happening just happened to happen yesterday. And as usual, small happenings are started by a small thing.

In my case, a pepperoni.

(more…)

Code Emergency: Shelter-In-Place

January 8th, 2007. Published under True Life. No Comments.

Today, what was an innocent math game turned into a shelter-in-place.

In order to tell you exactly what happened, you need to understand that today the Nalco Company plant which does water treatment and chemical technologies, accidentally released a combination of water vapor and a chemical - ethylenediamine. 17 employees were injured or had minor cuts. (source: Nalco).

The release was because a pressure release valve on the truck may have dislodged, causing the release into the atmosphere. The chemical involved could hurt skin, arms, and eyes, and those who were exposed to it might have vomiting and feel nausea. (more…)